WeeeWaaaWeeeeWaaaa...
(sound of door slamming, and feet running)
(sound of door crashing open)
"Where is the patient?"
Servant goil looks up from cleaning her two sofa's to see the panting and worried figure of handsome Dr Jack, standing framed in the doorway, concern written upon his face.
"Oh Dr Jack!!" swoons the servant goil "Madam Candy is in the front room, she can hardly hold a paintbrush, hurry, you must hurry!!"
"I will if you will let go of my leg"
"Sorry Dr Jack" The goil says as she reluctantly releases her grip on his strong thigh. Was that his car key's she had felt or was he pleased to see me, she sighed to herself.
Meanwhile Dr Jack had entered Madam Candy's artist's retreat. She lay provocatively upon velvet cushions, dressed in thin almost transparent gossamer cloth, her skin glistening with the heat. She limply held a paintbrush, summoning her depleted energy to create, even though her lithe body was wreaked by fever.
"Oh, Dr Jack, you came!"
"I did?" He looked quickly down in embarrassment before realising what she meant
"Oh, yes, errm, I came as quickly as I could, Madam Candy!"
"You rilly should take your time you know...I am not dying..." She breathed huskily
"Your well being is my only concern" He told her in that dark voice that made her legs weaken. He strode towards her.
"Put this in your mouth"
She reached up to him, but he pushed her searching hands away.
"No not that" He told her as he pulled his zip back up. "This!" He pushed a thermometer into her mouth.
"Mmthnkyowth" She mumbled back at him, her red eyes matching her hair. What a sight!
"You must try not to lift these heavy artist brushes, you must rest" He commanded her.
"In the meantime, read these jokes, and I will come back to check you over, all over..."
Will Madam Candy be well? Will Dr Jack save the famous artist? Will the servant goil dreams ever come true?
PS I also watched Moomin Red recently….full of energy and Ms kidman…yummm
On july 20,1969, as commander of the apollo 11 lunar module,
neil armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. his
first words after stepping on the moon,
"that's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind," were
televised to earth and heard by millions.
but just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic
remark :
"good luck, mr. gorsky."
many people at nasa thought it was a casual remark concerning
some rival soviet cosmonaut. however, upon checking, there was no
gorsky in either the russian or american space programs. over the
years many people questioned armstrong as to what the "good luck, mr.
gorsky"
statement meant, but armstrong always just smiled.
on july 5, 1995, in tampa bay, florida, while answering
questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old
question to armstrong. this time he finally responded. mr.gorsky had
died, so neil armstrong felt he could answer the question.
in 1938 when he was a kid in a small midwest town, he was
playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. his friend hit the
ball, which landed in his neighbor's yard by the bedroom windows.
his neighbors were mr. and mrs. gorsky. as he leaned down to pick up the
ball, young armstrong heard mrs. gorsky shouting at mr. gorsky.
"oral sex! you want oral sex?! ? you'll get oral sex when the kid
next door walks on the moon!"
TRUE STORY.
Bribe and Groom
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor
with an unusual offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows.
When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love,
honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate
it if you'd just leave that out.
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's
vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her
every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning
of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely
wife that you will never even look at another woman, as long as
you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice,
"Yes,"
then leaned toward the pastor and hissed:
"I thought we had a deal."
The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered:
"She made me a better offer."
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